If You Google "First Daughter" ...

... today, here's what you get (and they're definitely not talking about me, 'cuz I was snoozing safely at one o'clock this morning and nowhere near a trendy club in New York; plus, champagne, even the expensive stuff, smells like Nyquil to me):

...Sipping Veuve Cliquot champagne between dances, the first daughter was swarmed by a United Nations of playboys like bees to honey . . . she took the fedora hat off one admirer and wore it the rest of the night.